Hi guys!! Wow, it’s been A WHILE! Let me start out by saying hello (hah) and I’m sorry I’ve been away for so long. I knew I wouldn’t have as much time to blog once Wilder came into the world, but I didn’t think it was going to be like this. I thought I’d let you guys know what was going on behind the scenes and why I was away for so long. Also, I thought I’d finally share our newborn photos, haha! Thank you so much to Sidney from Sidney Leigh Photography for taking our photos!

The first 3 months were HARD. Now, what I’m about to say please don’t let this scare you away from having a baby because it’s the best gift in the world that God could possibly give you, but I don’t think anybody or anything can prepare you for a baby. B and I chose to do the whole newborn phase on our own (plus living in a 1-bedroom doesn’t exactly scream “hey grandma and grandpa come stay with us!). I don’t know if it was my new-mama phase or what, but I just wanted to have personal time with my baby and husband. With that said, there were days where I wish my mom was a hop and skip away from my place because I NEEDED help.

Okay, so here’s how the first 3 months went. Wilder was such a sleepy baby the first couple of days. I felt like we spent most of the time trying to keep him awake while nursing. I think around week 2 he started to become more alert and was awake for a longer period of time, but when I say awake, I mean constantly on the boob nursing. This is completely normal by the way! Cluster feeding will suck the life out of you, but it’s your baby’s way of regulating your supply. They also sometimes just want to nurse for comfort. You just brought them into this big world and all they want is their mama because everything is so new and scary to them. Yes, I eventually ended up giving Wilder a pacifier once I discovered he was comfort nursing and my boobs just needed a 10-minute break. The clusterfeeding happened all day and sometimes even in the middle of the night.

I think by week 4 was when it really started to go crazy at home for me. B went back to work after week 2 and I felt like I really had it together during week 3 for the most part. The only thing I couldn’t figure out was how to get him to nap. Wilder was super fussy from 8am-12pm. I think that was his clusterfeeding time and no way would he nap during then. He was on me pretty much that entire time. Once 12 p.m. hit I knew I could get him down for a teeny nap. It worked…for about 2 weeks.

Once week 6 rolled around I knew something was up. His fussiness turned into screaming and there was nothing I could do to calm him down. He would want to nurse, but then scream as if he was in pain and arch his back. I tried singing to him, rocking him, wearing him, but nothing was working. His constant nursing turned into comfort nursing that led to him eating too much and just screaming more. We eventually went to the doctors because I noticed he would choke. He never threw up for me, just choked all the time. I knew the choking was the issue and why he wasn’t happy during the day or napping. We found out he had silent acid reflux…poor baby. They wanted to put him on Zantac, but I wanted to do everything naturally first before I gave him medicine. When I say naturally, I mean first sitting him upright for 20-30 minutes after a feed, having him sleep elevated in his crib, if not in his crib then sleeping upright on me, eliminating milk, soy, and gluten from my diet (as well as anything else that would cause gas in breastfed babies), and giving him a probiotic to help put good bacteria in his stomach that he was lacking for digestion and reflux. I can happily say everything I tried naturally worked and we survived this phase with him!!

Now, in the event his reflux was so bad he wasn’t gaining weight, then of course I would give him the Zantac, but from my research and personal opinion the Zantac would have done more harm than good for him in the long run. I think the probiotic honestly was one of the best things we could’ve given him to help. The probiotic we used was Gerber Soothe Probiotics. I swear by them! Helped him poop too!

Now, I’m totally leaving out a lot between month 1 and 3, but to shorten it up it was a sweet and salty nightmare. Lots of tears, feeling like a failure, not understanding what I was doing wrong, and many phone calls to one of my best friends not knowing what to do with a newborn that won’t nap because of discomfort. I remember we ended up having to call 911 one night because he pretty much choked so bad he stopped breathing. After giving him the Heimlich he eventually started breathing again, but my gosh was it scary. After that, we gave him the Heimlich like it was nobody’s business when needed. By the way, the Owlet monitor was worth EVERY SINGLE PENNY. Wilder was one of the perfect examples for a baby that needs to be monitored. I remember the day I saw him give a real smile for the first time. He was about 2 months old. I think that was his way of telling me he is happy and I’m doing everything I can to make him smile.

I think by month 3 was when we really started to see a fun personality come out of Wilder. He was chatting up a storm and really enjoying life a little bit more, hah! We actually went to Peru for a week to visit my dad so he could meet his grandson for the first time! He has both B and I beat with traveling internationally at just 3 months old.

Once we got back from Peru, my maternity leave was pretty much over. Thankfully, I had 4 months at home with him, which not a lot of moms in the United States can do unfortunately. Now, let me add by saying that I only had 6 weeks of short-term disability and then I had to use vacation and unpaid leave…why can’t we get it together with this maternity leave nonsense?!

I’m so happy I got to spend the time that I had with him at home no matter how scary it was for me. He’s my first baby and there’s no other baby I’d rather have learned from than him. He’s perfect in every way and I’m so blessed to be able to be his mama. Aside from his reflux issues, he really is a chill happy baby. I’ve gotten so many compliments on how good and easy going he is. That makes my heart so happy because that’s something that you don’t really teach a baby. Either they’re chill or not, haha! I’m sure our personalities reflect off of him as well, but if you know me, you know I’m high strung. He also looks everything like B and I couldn’t be anymore ecstatic to legitimately have a mini B running around the house.

I have already learned so much from this sweet baby of mine and I still have so much to learn. The newborn phase isn’t easy, but you cherish it because they literally grow over night. I do want to say if you are struggling with a colicky baby, it’s COMPLETELY NORMAL. Nothing is wrong with your baby. They are brand new to this big scary world and everything inside of them is new. They are learning to eat and breath outside of your womb and that’s a huge change for them. So don’t go thinking you’re alone when your baby is colicky or suffering with reflux. It’s common and so many parents go through this phase with their little’s. If you didn’t, you are one of the lucky ones 😉

I think this post was longer than I expected to be and I still didn’t get everything in with what I wanted to say, but this would be a novel if I mentioned every struggle I had, hah!

Did you recently have a baby? How was the newborn phase for you? I know other moms have had more sweeter if not saltier experiences than me!